Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
