member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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