Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
