My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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