he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
