You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
