batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
