There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize