Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
