Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
