went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
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