Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
