i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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