"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I am naked and annoyed.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
