so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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