My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
