why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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