She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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