I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i drank out of a bidet.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
