his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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