Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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