Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
