I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
