So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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