You smell like stripper and shame
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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