that's an acceptable place to lick
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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