It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
