guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
