Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
