HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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