A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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