You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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