There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
