You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Dignity is for republicans.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize