me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize