ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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