k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She even gives head with a lisp.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
