My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
