Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
