whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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