bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
