we have pet lesbian snakes
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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