a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
