I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
