I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
