this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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