he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
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