I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
