so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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