I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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