I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
