I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
