Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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