so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
