Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
