WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
