i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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