I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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