Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize