Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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