I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
