He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
